An ex is an ex for a reason and here’s why you shouldn’t go back there.

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

It’s 2am on a Saturday night and I’m home alone with a bottle of red next to me, staring at the message on my phone.

He wants to meet up.

Right now all I want to do is reply “hell yes” grab my coat and run out the door.
But I can’t seem to ignore that twisted feeling in my gut that is just yelling “nooooooo”.

Sound familiar?

There is no easy way to navigate the end of a relationship. Emotions are high, hearts are hurt and it often feels like the only person who can heal this pain is the person who caused it.

But getting back with the ex isn’t always the best option, and here’s why.

Time doesn’t right all wrongs.

The ship went down, fell apart, broke in two for a reason.

Maybe you weren’t ready, maybe they crossed a line, maybe they stole your cat, shaved it and posted the pics on Instagram.Whatever the cause, it was big enough for one or both parties to call it quits.

Now a bit of time has passed and you’re starting to miss them. You are remembering all that good gushy stuff that made you weak in the knees to begin with.
You are starting to question yourself and wonder why on earth you are sitting alone on a Saturday night with half a bottle of wine in your belly and not wrapped up in the arms of your ex.

The tough thing is that just because you miss them, doesn’t mean they are the best thing for you. Despite the beautiful moments, the underlying problems may still exist and creating a yo-yo relationship is not going to do your heart any favours.
No matter how many messages you get at two in the morning.

Trust yourself.

You miss them. They make you feel good. You’re hurting.
But now is the time that you need to dig deep and show up for yourself.

Woman, trust your gut. Especially when your heart is broken.
Take this time to dive inward and think about what you really want. You may discover that this is the moment to nurture the most important relationship in your life. The one with yourself.

But you can’t build a solid relationship of love and respect if you don’t trust yourself. We know that trust is the foundation of any good relationship, but we often forget to apply that knowledge when it comes to ourselves.
So here is your opportunity, trust your gut and put down the phone.

Learn the lessons and keep walking.

Every relationship teaches us something. This is the moment to reflect and learn from the lessons that this ex has taught you. There is no need to go back and learn them all again.

Thank you, next.

Most importantly, your ex cannot heal your heart. Only you can do that.
Trust yourself woman, and walk away with grace.

By Alice Cavanagh

Alice is a writer, actor and movement monkey from Australia. She is currently kicking it in Toronto where she is creating a large collection of scarves to survive winter. Spring come at me bro, I’m ready.

IG: @alicecaviar

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